protection

It hurts to care about another person this much. You are two months old and life has suddenly gotten so much harder for you. You had your first vaccinations today. You came into the doctor’s office having never known pain like that existed and you left red faced and crying, confused, convinced that being a body is a difficult task. Convinced that I could no longer be trusted. Later, when you awoke you cried in pain. It was a new cry to me. It hurts to hear it. Now we put you to bed alone for the first time. Why are we trying to get you on this schedule anyway? You’re just a little baby, but I guess we have to. It is for you. It’s for the best. It’s time for us to be grown ups about it all. You grow up and I grow up too. As you stretch, so do I. But it takes so long to get you to bed that by the time you are asleep I will be tired anyway. Maybe I should just go to bed. I can’t take the crying. I want to protect you from all this. But I can’t protect you from life. Life has pain in it. I am sorry little one. I am so sorry. There is no vaccination for that. We can't protect you from everything.