out

Last night I took my first bike ride since Julien was born...since last summer. It was amazing. Lukas was in the trailer. I got him ready for bed and then packed him into the bike trailer with a pillow and rode off into the sunset...literally. As I was peacefully peddling along I thought "I have breast milk, spit up and ketchup on my shirt. I haven't showered or washed my hair in days. I think I am leaking urine and my arches are collapsing but I don't care. I am out. I am out in this stillness. Just me and the quiet night and the rhythmic sound of these wheels churning and pressing on.