fresh eyes

The weather has been stormy....humid and heavy.  The air is full of pressure.  Lukas has been emotional.  Julien and I have had more time with my not working as much.  It was sweet today.  We read stories and I made dinner and I felt a sense of calm, having only one focus.
Riding in the car today Julien launched into a contemplative and tender line of thought. 

"I will die Mama.  I will."
"I know Julien.  We all will die.  I will die too."
"I want to die when you die Mama."
"Oh, that is sweet Julien.  As much as I love to be with you and I love that you want to be with me, I hope that we don't die together.  I'm older than you and I should die first."
"When you die I'll hold you. I'll lay down beside you."
"Oh Julien, thank you."
"Then I'll open your eyes and you will give me a hug."
"I love you Julien."
"I know Mama.  I love you too......How much do you love me Mama"
"I love you more than the earth needs the sun.  I love you more than the rain loves the rivers."
"Other people love me too right Mama?"
"Yes.  Lot's of people love you."
"Like Maddox and Oma and Opa and Papa and Lukas."
"Yes, and Thatcher and Tessa and all your aunts and uncles."

Ah...it is such a privilege to be with these little people with their fresh eyes and open hearts.
Thank you.