boys

I feel as if I have not be adequatly documenting the life of my little Julien. His first birthday came and went I couldn't find a time to sit down and capture my reflections. His mellow disposition is forming into a feirce and focused character ready to crawl, shuffle and scream his way to what he wants....but not walk. He will not walk. For this, he wants my hand and that my dear is the great dillemma. He has begun testing us. He stares me in the eye and then drops food on the ground or puts a toy in his mouth or tries to open the trash can and then he smiles as I shake my head. He is searching for borders and boundaries. The other day at dinner I said to Lukas and Jorg "I'm afraid of this boy. He is a wild one." Lukas said " Too late now. He's here and he can't go back." "You're right Lukas." I said laughing. " I wouldn't want him to go back either. I'd miss him." "Me too." Said Lukas. "I'd miss his smile and how he laughs with me."
It is amazing to watch them play. Julien loves to chase Lukas around the table. He loves to chase Lukas everywhere. Of course Lukas does not always want to be chased. He doesn't always want to share his toys or have Julien knock his towers down or try to eat his food. In all relationships there is conflict. Last night as I watched my boys giggle and splash in the bath together I felt so grateful for these boys. It is such a gift to watch them grow....to be present. That is my work....to really be present....to take it in....all of it....even the messy, cranky, crowded, sleepy, poopy moments.....life is so full.