christmas things.....

I come downstairs. The boys are in bed. The kitchen is so quiet. The soup is still on the stove. The dishes are done. I want to just stand here and stare....to breathe for a moment. Christmas is over and there is truly a sense of peace now. No projects to be made or letters to be written or presents to be wrapped anymore. There is some space now. Christmas passed in a dizzy flurry of unwrapped presents and dishes and friends and family and food. Lukas was happy and Julien was happy but they didn't need as much as we offered. Lukas was overwhelmed by the end of the day. He actually hid behind my parents recliner with his baby doo dee and sucked his thumb during present time. He didn't know what to do with it all and clung to the one transformer that he understood. Julien really just loved his picture book that I got for 3.99 at TJ Max and wanted to read it over and over again. Why do we do this? Why do we celebrate the birth of a "savior" of a man that was said to have lived many many years ago and performed amazing acts of healing and charity...why do we celebrate him by buying loads of unecissary stuff and stressing ourselves out about it? I know that my sentiments are not revelatory. Many people feel this way. But I am just now establishing the traditions for these new members of our world. I have some power here to mold and fashion their experiences in a more meaningful and concious way. I know what I want for my children but somehow I did it. I bought a bunch of things and was overwhelmed by them and then overwhelmed my kids with them. Why? The power of culture? The thrill of seeing their faces when they find all those wrapped packages. The desire to re-live my own christmas excitement? I don't know what it is but I find the pull of culture is stronger than ever when raising children.....so many voices offering their opinions, so many messages and us just navigating these uncharted waters day by weary day looking for answers and ideas....it gets harder and harder to hear our own voices in the mix......There are times when it takes a villiage to raise a child and then there are other times when we just have to forget the villiage, wander away from the well trodden path and find the way back to our own simple fire lit dwellings.