two gether....

Little Julien's life is slipping away and I have yet to record all the details...sweet moments....exciting milestones. I think I am waiting for a moment to reflect and ponder and find something insightful that I imagine blogworthy. The right moment to reflect never comes. Julien is almost 20 months old now. About a month ago he finally said "mama". It was as if he woke up to the idea that I was seperate from him. He has grown more cuddly and attached ever since. He gathers words slowly, practicing them with great intention. Down, Wait, Don't, No no, shoe shoe, socks. I think he has a foot fetish because he loves to bring us all our shoes and dig through the shoes and immediatly take off any socks that are put on him. He whispers "shhh" when I say anyone is sleeping. He loves books and points at the dog and says "vow vow" and snorts for the pig and moos for the cow. It is funny our obsession with teaching kids about farm animals. It is hard to find a kids book that isn't about "life on the farm". I guess it's because they naturally like farm animals. Julien loves cats and dogs and birds and squirels. He loves being outside more than anything. He loves walks down the road and doesn't want to be carried. He wants to go slowly and explore the puddles and leaves and berries and listen to the birds and watch a shadow. It is such a gift to move at his pace....to see the world through his eyes for a moment. But most of all he loves Lukas. He follows Lukas around and tries to do everything that Lukas does. He doesn't always want to cuddle with Lukas. He is a bit wary that he will be squeazed a bit to hard or bopped on the head. Lukas loves to cuddle with vigor and gusto and Julien is sometimes taken aback. Today Julien fell off the table and was bleeding and Lukas was so worried. He followed us and pushed through and said "Let me see him. I have to see him right now." Today I was talking to a friend who was considering having her second child. I immediatly without filter launched into all the horrors of being pregnant while caring for an older child...about post partum and being exhausted or sick while caring for an older child. I was definitely not painting a pretty picture. Because of this, I know that I am not just being romantic or sentimental and forgetting how hard it was at first when I say that I would never change a thing. I love watching my boys grow together. I love watching them discover each other. I love most of all that they (hopefully..god willing) will not have to go through this life alone. I cannot imagine it any other way. I cannot imagine a greater joy than having these two unfolding people share this path with me and with each other.