brothers and such

Those two boys have been driving both Jorg and I crazy.  They both have learned how to wind each other up with little effort and an explosion of giggles.  They both want the same chair and to sleep next to  me or Jorg when we read to them.  They both want the same side of the bath tub.  Lukas has been pushing things a bit again.....testing us.  Julien just began having tantrums last week.  He hadn't had them yet and Jorg and I had blissfully forgotten what they were.  But they are unmistakable.  He collapses on the floor over taking off his skateboard shirt or grabs Jorgs glasses and throws them.  Tonight when I put his jammies on he fought me so hard and then turned and looked at my fast with red puffy eyes and said in a deflated, crackly voice..."no glasses.  Where are your glasses?"  He couldn't throw them.  So, I got his jammies on and they fought over Lukas reading Julien the story or me.  Lukas wanted to read it to him but he wanted me and then he kept changing his mind. 
At the same time.....they SO love each other.  They would play together all morning if I didn't mind our house slowly being ripped apart.  They build forts and spy on us.  They hide things on each other.  They chace and jump and burrow about the house all the live long day.  But they wear me out.  Me, the adult with the agenda....with the clock ticking inside desperatly trying to not be late.  Me, the one constantly reigning them in and attempting to steer them toward one activity or another.
They both seem to be pushing and pulling....eachother, us, life.
Today we went on a field trip with Lukas' school to the planetarium in St. Johnsbury.  I think I was more excited about the outing than anyone.  I woke up first and jumped on their beds to arise them.  I packed car snacks and books.  I was out the door and actually on time!  Lukas picked up on this and was also totally excited.  He didn't know where to look first.  He came home busting with facts for Jorg.  "Papa, if you get lost at night you can look in the sky and find the big dipper and it points to the north star and then you know where north is and it could save your life." "Papa, the sun is really low in the sky now.  In the summer it is almost directly above us but now it just moves along low near the mountains so it isn't as warm now."  I love watching him learn.  They just had a science fair at his school.  He did his project on lightning.  It was fun and also a massive ordeal.  I was committed to him doing it himself.  But this meant lots of reminding and watching over his shoulder and desperatly trying not to get attached to the outcome.  "Are you sure you don't want to color the lightning on the cover of your book in?  It is kind of light in pencil....o.k.....no....that's fine...it's your book.....but, are you sure?"  Sigh....the great path to projects and such. 
I see other boys his age and they look like such kids and then I see him and he is just this little boy....he is just Lukas.